this is 42...
i am NOT in my grandma era
Yesterday was my birthday.
I won’t wax poetic about the trauma of having your birthday the day after Christmas. ‘Little me’ is still in recovery (bless her heart).
But here’s the irony: having a Boxing Day birthday (as it’s known here in Canada) is arguably worse than turning 42 as a single woman. Think about it — a stampede of people rushing to buy a comically oversized TV on sale, or a lone woman minding her own business, living her best life? What’s really more terrifying? If your answer isn’t the former, please go ahead and unsubscribe yourself.
The abundance of memes and reels about being in a “grandma era” or “single girl era” seem to give us permission to embrace being single, alone, and minding our business. But why do we need labels to justify these states of being? Calling it an “era” feels like it minimizes the validity of simply existing as we are. It’s like the emotional equivalent of saying, “I’m sorry, but” — an unnecessary qualifier to our truth.
Personally, I’m not here to justify or overexplain my life choices, decisions, or circumstances. I’m here to enjoy my life. What feels right to you now is simply what feels right to you now. There’s no need to tie it up in a cutesy bow — or create cutesy reels — to make yourself or others feel better about it. You have the power to choose how you feel about your life, so why not choose to fully embrace it?
A friend asked me yesterday what it’s like to be on “the other side” of 40. And I can honestly say I’ve never been more at peace with myself. Something switched on for me after 40 — the button that says “this is who I am and I like me”. The button that’s more playful and curious and open and accepting, and that’s the best birthday gift I could ever receive.
This year, I’m setting the intention to deepen my bond with myself and the divine. I’m surrendering to and flowing with God’s plan as I make my own (and then, of course, He’ll laugh, and it’ll be funny when my plans inevitably blow up — but hey, that’s life).
There’s something cosmically, magically freeing about radically accepting your life exactly as it is and knowing, deep down, that no matter what, you’ll be okay. It hasn’t been an easy road to arrive here (I partly blame Pluto for riding Capricorn’s ass these past 16 years), but it’s one I’m inevitably grateful for.
That’s not to say I don’t have my days, my hiccups, or moments of wondering, “What if?” or “What will happen…?” But this newfound peace within makes everything feel just a little bit lighter. The stresses of my 20s and 30s, while real and legitimate, now pale in comparison to the life I know I am grateful to have.
I’m excited to experience life — every year, every moment, and every candle on the cake makes it all the more worth living. If I fuck up, I fuck up. If I get my heart broken, I get my heart broken. On the flip side, if I succeed, I succeed. If I roll around in diamonds, I roll around in diamonds. Potato, potata. It’s all part of the ride. I am here for it all.
They say age is just a number, and while I usually agree (especially when it comes to dating younger men), there’s something uniquely empowering about being in your 40s. It’s like graduating with a special degree in worthiness, and honestly, there’s nothing quite like it.
Whatever age you’re turning this next year, I hope you find the same joy in embracing yourself fully, flaws and all.
Here’s to life “on the other side.”
Thanks for being here!
Love, Brie xoxo
P.S. And because I love that you’re here, I am offering a special discount! 42% on paid subscriptions — both monthly and annually — for 12 months! Redeem here: https://briannehogan.substack.com/42bday Think of it as a little bday gift for both of us!
Brie loves this week…
Cheese fondue parties! 💝 Cocktails that look like they came from outer space 💝 Watching “Nobody Wants This” for the third time 💝 Gingerbread cookies for breakfast 💝 sunny beach walks 💝 a Boxing Day sale that’s actually worth it (I bought it online, ok?!) 💝 friends who sing “happy birthday” to you willingly and happily 💝 texting with your Bumble match during the holidays (it’s kind of a vibe) 💝 FaceTiming my parents three days in a row (only the holidays, am I right?) 💝 sleeping in unapologetically 💝 buying these Melanie Auld earrings for myself for my birthday 💝 lovely birthday messages from old and new friends 💝 Writing my newsletter after a much-needed self-imposed break!!
Born December 23 (2 days before Christmas), and I feel there is a certain level of self acceptance required with birthdays that close to the holiday (or maybe it's just being a Capricorn) because birthdays are so often overlooked. I just turned 34, so not yet to 40, but I'm feeling more and more of the themes you mention here. ❤️ Thanks for sharing and happy birthday!
-A fellow winter baby
Happy birthday!!