I booked my first commercial at 40

It's never too late

Turning 40 last December was wild. I don’t feel 40. I am told I don’t look 40 (whatever that means). But, nonetheless, I am 40.

There’s a certain weightiness to that age, especially as a woman. Especially as a single, child-free woman. But that’s a topic for another day.

Today I want to celebrate something I achieved at 40. I booked my first commercial.

I wanted to be an actress since I was 13 years old. I planned my life around it. I specifically applied to only one school — NYU — to make it happen (or so I though and hoped).

I didn’t book one acting job.

Then, a few years later, after I graduated with a degree that didn’t land me anywhere closer to booking an acting job, or any job for that matter, I attended Lee Strasberg to further my studies.

I didn’t book one acting job.

Instead I waitressed at, like, ten different restaurants in 18 months and then writing came along in the form of playwriting, and, then these plays soon turned in articles that soon turned into books, and well, here I am. A writer.

Don’t get me wrong. I love writing. I’ve always loved writing. Not to mention I am one of those annoying people who believes that everything happens for a reason, so I know my journey was always about taking the path of a writer not as an actor.

And yet… in my heart, I still longed to be that actor I imagined myself to be as a young girl. I just didn’t know how or when it was ever going to happen for me. For the longest time I thought if I didn’t “make it” by 25 (which, at the time, meant winning an Oscar, starring alongside Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, and landing the cover of Vanity Fair, you know, a pretty standard level of success) I was a failure.

Then I snapped out of it because that’s bullshit.

I mean, I think we can all relate to that feeling. That our dreams aren’t worth pursuing past a certain age. That the thing we want most in life to experience is nothing but a pipe dream with an expiration date.

But I’ve never been one to follow the crowd so maybe that’s why I “foolishly” held onto my dream of becoming an actor, and so when I quit my 9-5 job back in 2021, at 38 years old, I told myself I would give this acting thing another go.

It took me two years and numerous auditions, but, finally at 40 years…

I booked an acting job.

And now, my 40 year old self, will leave you with this: Age is nothing but a silly constraint we place on ourselves that inevitably stops us from doing what we want.

Don’t let it.