why do men hate to wear condoms?
let's discuss
You can imagine that mannnnyyyy interesting things come across my inbox as a dating/relationships writer.
For instance. One Christmas morning, about ten years ago, I awoke to a Facebook message from “Felipe”, a friend of a friend who had recently become familiar with my writing. The message basically went like this:
“Hi Brianne, my wife is divorcing me. I’m all alone now and I can’t help but think about all the years I wasted. I never had a threesome or had someone play with my perineum. I don’t know what to do. What’s your advice?”
As I wiped the sleep from my eyes, a few things ran through my mind. The first was how bummed I was knowing his message now indelibly replaced what I had long considered my most memorable Christmas morning at eight years old when I was surprised with my first cat. Let’s face it, as cute as Tiger Jones was, that feline couldn’t hold a candle next to questions about threesomes and ass play.
The second was, how do I even begin to answer that? (long story short: I didn’t.)
Anyway, from threesomes to sex toys to AI sexbots, I’ve read it all, friends.
That is until I saw an email from ONE® Condoms® proclaiming that February 1st was Measure a Penis Day. (PS did anyone celebrate?!)
At first I was quick to just laugh this off — I mean, let’s be real, what day isn’t measure a penis day? I’m pretttyyyy sure that’s something that guys probably do on most days — especially if there’s any type of shrinkage involved,.
To quote Elaine Benes, I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things!
But! As I skimmed over the research, I quickly realized this was no laughing matter. Because, as what was pointed out in the email, 74% of men say they don’t use regular condoms because they don’t fit right. This makes sense since only 12% of condom users fit into the standard sized condom sold in stores.
Look, it’s no surprise that men kinda hate condoms. Some men treat wearing protection as if it’s a burden imposed on them, instead of seeing it as a safeguard — both against STDs, STIs, and unplanned pregnancy.
I can count on one hand the number of times a man I’ve been with has used a condom, which, I must mention, quickly stopped after a) we became a monogamous and/or b) learned I was on birth control.
I know I’m not alone here. It’s like once the woman takes care of the pregnancy part (since, you know, it’s our ‘problem’), all caution is thrown to the wind — along with the condom wrappers! As for those pesky STIs? Well, apparently that part is covered once you’re both “committed” and/or he claims, “But I got tested recently!”
So what’s the big deal with wrapping it up? Well, I’m sure we’ve all heard the rhetoric that sex is “better” without a condom. Never mind that this notion reduces sex to merely a penetrative act — forgetting that oral and manual stimulation, kink, dirty talk, foreplay, etc, also counts as sex, too.
But is that true? Is sex really better without a condom?
Not really.
An Indiana University study found that condoms don't actually make sex less enjoyable for either men or women. In fact, a survey of over 1,600 people showed that couples rated their sexual experiences as equally arousing and pleasurable whether they used condoms or not. The researchers believe that condoms provide a sense of safety and security, which lets people relax and enjoy the experience more.
However, young men still don’t love wearing a condom. In Canada, condom use decreases with age, from 79.9% of 15–17-year-old men to 55.1% of 20–24-year-old men, and continues to drop as they age. Stats from the U.S. are similar.
Yet rates of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), such as Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis, continue to rise among young adults.
So what does this have to do with Measure a Penis Day?
Well, here’s the thing. Condoms need a rebrand. Gone are the days when we were bombarded by ads for condoms — and scared by the thought of not using them (in fear of contracting AIDS or HIV).
Maybe, just maybe, guys are thinking that condoms are “yucky” and not pleasurable simply because they’ve been wearing the WRONG SIZE! I’m sure it’s like wearing a tight turtleneck, or shoes that are too big for you. No one likes to feel uncomfortable!
But…what if they wore a condom fit just for them? Would that make a difference?
Could be so! According to research collected by ONE® Condoms®, which offers custom-fit condoms, 60% of condom users said condoms DON’T RUIN THE MOOD — when it fits right!
Also, according to those 705 users that had measured and tried MyONE condoms:
- 89% say that custom fit condoms increase pleasure.
- 93% say that custom fit condoms increase comfort.
- 81% say that custom fit condoms increase confidence.
- 80% say condoms increase the likelihood that they will use condoms.
Guys, I swear, this is NOT AN AD for the company! I just think with the evidence that STIs are on the rise, and that condom usage is on the decline, maybe we should think of solutions that, um, fit?
Look, all I’m saying is, in heterosexual relationships, maybe it's time for a change. Women have been popping pills and getting IUDs (which, let's be honest, sounds like a medieval torture device) for far too long. Guys, it's time to explore some options that don't involve messing with someone else's hormones or reproductive organs. And hey! Everyone loves a little customized accoutrement, non?
Happy Belated Measure a Penis Day! Maybe we’ll celebrate next year!
Thanks for being here!
Love, Brie xoxo
