love notes: March in review
a month of growth that felt like a year
Hey loves,
Another month of dating, learning, and (let’s be real) probably overanalyzing has come and gone. Welcome to Love Notes, my new monthly recap where I share my favourite posts, what I’ve learned, and the highs and lows of single life. And because I don’t want to be the only one spilling my thoughts, I’m adding a poll to each roundup, so you can weigh in and share your thoughts with me. Let’s get into it.
💖 Favourite Post of the Month
the time i said 'i love you' for the first time ever
I was twenty-three years old when I fell in love for the first time. His name was Roy (it wasn’t, but for the case of privacy and respect, let’s call him that) and for weeks I cried every time we had sex.
This was one of the most well-liked posts of the month, and that actually makes me really, really happy. Not only because it’s a long-form essay, and I know how precious time can be! but it’s one that I tweaked for a while (FYI — I included this essay in a book proposal of essays that ultimately didn’t go anywhere) and I put my heart into it. It’s one of the most significant, if not traumatic, moments in my life that ended up being a very funny story, and it’s a memory I hold dear. Of course if you choose the paid version, you’re getting the entire essay, which I highly recommend.
As for the most popular post of the month? Well, that goes to our inaugural Crush of the Month: Justin Trudeau! Given our current political climate, I guess it’s not a surprise that it’s the most viewed post ever?!
crush of the month club: Justin Trudeau
Welcome to Crush of the Month Club, where I spotlight the famous men who are unexpectedly stealing our attention (or maybe just mine!). Maybe it’s their charm, their talent, their confidence — or maybe it’s just good hair, and BDE. Either way, this is a space to appreciate the crushes we didn’t see coming (or the ones we did).
💖 Dating Lesson Learned
This month, I learned that vulnerability and clarity is key, especially during Venus and Mercury Retrograde. LOL! OK, it’s key alllll of the time in dating. And I know — it’s not like this is brand new information. But, let’s be real — being vulnerable and stating how we feel and what we want is hard work, and is typically something that we might shy away from even if we know better! And it’s double-y hard during that early, tricky “what are we doing here?” phase where everyone is feeling a little bit guarded. It’s like no one wants to play or show their hand, even if what they want is probably the same as the other person!
So, yeah, I had to go there with someone. I had to tell him that I liked him and wanted to continue seeing him despite some of the obstacles that are coming up. Even if it was super scary, I decided to go out on the limb and just speak my truth and not wait for him to say what he wanted first, which is something that I would normally have done in the past. But now! Your girl’s grown and learned some of her hard lessons! Instead, I was direct and clear with how I felt and what I was willing to do together, and here we are.
Did I mention I am seeing someone? Ha! Well, I am. Kind of. Long story. Cute story, but long just the same. And we met on…wait for it…fucking BUMBLE?! WTFFFFFF.
Anyway. I will probably write about it at some point, but you gotta give me a minute to, like, assess our situation and tell him, ‘hey, i write about my dating life, do you mind if i share some stuff?” I mean, I am sure he’s already Googled me by now, but I have to make it official. Another vulnerable talk is on the way! I actually am liking them! It feels really freeing (and dare I say, grown up and fucking mature) to be so effing clear with how you feel and what you would like! I’m excited to dig deeper into this!
💖 Best Date Moment
Well, it wasn’t a date moment, per se…but I did send Mr. Bumble a 7-minute voice note! I knew it could’ve been either super cringe or EXACTLY what was needed to smooth stuff over, and talk out what was going on. I decided I didn’t care if he thought it was cringe. I thought, ‘I need to say this for me, and for him. And if he doesn’t get it — then he doesn’t get ME, and that’s just information for me to move on!’ When I finished my little podcast-of-a-voice-note, I was really proud of myself for saying what was on my heart in the way I wanted to say it — confident yet vulnerable; assured and soft. I said to myself, no matter what happens, this is how you lead yourself in dating from now on. FULL ON TRUST and FULL IN YOUR HEART.
Thankfully, the voice note was well appreciated and exactly what was needed to get clear on what we both wanted from the connection, and here we are. Stay tuned!
(P.S. if you need a little guidance on how to do this…please let me know in the comments or email me. If you want me to write about what to say and how to say it, and how to know what to say…let me know that too!)
💖 Quote of the Month
”I’m taking life day by day.”
This is what I texted my friend, Sunny, when he asked me how I was doing the other day, and honestly it’s been kind of my mantra for the last month or so. I’ve been going through it on many levels pretty much since January — emotionally, spiritually, professionally, personally — and I know I’m not alone. What’s helped me stay grounded, besides my morning routine and meditation and affirmations (let me know if you want the details of these too!) is by focusing on the present moment. Today is today, and that is more than good enough. Tomorrow is none of my business. All we have is now. Reading Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now” has also been super helpful.
💖 Photo Dump
It was mostly a grey month here in Vancouver, but I made the most of it by being outside and going on some solo dates with myself as well day trips with friends!
💖 Song of the Month
I don’t know why but I’ve been on a real Hootie kick lately! HAHHA. I am aging myself very badly here. What a Millennial! Oh well. I feel like this song would be either a really good or really bad karaoke song! Either way, it does get me revved up on the treadmill! And, yes, I am probably the only person who gets hyped up by HOOTIE!
💖 Poll Time!
Starting this month, I’ll be adding a poll to each roundup because I love hearing what you all think. Let’s make this a conversation, not just me oversharing (though I’ll still be doing plenty of that).
I’ll share the results in next month’s Love Notes, so vote and let me know where you stand.
💖 What’s Next?
Honestly, next month, my biggest manifestation is…just more fun and joy. The grey skies and the ups-and-downs of life, either in my personal life or on a global scale, have made me more navel-gaze-y than I would like. And while I’m always down for some good old introspection and healing and self-actualization…I also think so much growth can come from pleasure and joy. I want to get out of my head, and start taking chances and action by being more in by body and letting that serve as my guide. Less worry and overthinking, and more trust and full-embodied choices. I’m going to let my Capricorn stellium relax a bit (aka get out of my head and stop with the rigidity of how things ought to be), as I lean further into my Taurus Moon (more sensual, pleasure-oriented yet grounded) and just…find pleasure in the small things that excite me. Like, reading, drinking tea and coffee, watching movies that make me laugh, animals, creating, flowers, bubble baths, and cooking. A big EXHALE is definitely due on the menu!
Also:
My goal this year is to make my Substack a source of income for myself (and my cat). If my newsletter resonates with you, and you like what you read, I do kindly ask becoming either a paid subscriber (it’s only $6 a month or $50 for the entire year), or making a one-off donation and buying me a $3 coffee here. Creating this newsletter is a labour of love, and I believe it’s important to compensate artists for what we create, especially if you find value in it.
Thanks for being here!
Love, Brie xoxo