impress yourself ffs
you're worth it
A few years ago, I went out on a first date with a man who brought a magazine as a gift for me. It was the latest issue of Elle Canada, and he said he wanted to give it to me because he knew I was a writer and I had written an essay for Elle Canada.
At first I didn’t know what to say. I even thought it was a little strange. But, bear in mind, this was coming from a woman who, at that time and until very recently, accepted - CONSUMED! — strictly bread crumbs from most of the men in her life, so I didn’t know a kind gesture if it threw up all over me.
Anyway. In hindsight, I think what he did was very sweet. It was thoughtful and personal, and it was not love bomb-y. I don’t think he was trying to manipulate me with the gift nor do I think it was a cringey thing to do to get my attention. I think the gift was a sign of what most respectful and hopeful people do on first dates: he was trying to impress me.
Because that’s the thing, right? We go on a first date with the best of intentions. We put our best foot forward as we shine positive expectation on what is usually, typically, a very stressful situation. Oh, sure, we might be wearing a tiny bit of a mask at first, but I would argue that’s only because we’re just so excited to connect with someone who we genuinely like and are attracted to. Of course we want to impress our date! Why wouldn’t we? We want them to know how amazing we are! We want to leave them with the lasting impression of “if this was such a great first date, then imagine what the rest of your life could look like?” (I mean, yes, obviously, this is not including the very bad first dates that we’ve all been on, including yours truly, like the time I dated a Wayne Newton look-alike who called me an “ugly anorexic cunt” after I cut early from our date. Surely, he wasn’t putting his best foot forward, but, then again, I don’t know the man — maybe he was. He did think I was skinny, which, at the time, all things considering, I appreciated.)
My point is, we get so darn excited to make a good impression on a stranger! We wear something nice, put on our favourite cologne/perfume, and show up with a smile and maybe some flowers, or a magazine, all in the hopes of making the other person *feel* something special about ourselves.
So my challenge to you this week, my friend, in the spirit of “loving ourselves a little more this summer”, is this: I want you to impress the fuck out of yourself.
This needn’t be difficult!
It can be as simple as the following:
Wearing something nice, like *that* dress you’ve been saving for fancy occasion, and just wearing it RIGHT NOW
Remembering to put on perfume/cologne even if you’re working from home BECAUSE WHY NOT?
Buying yourself flowers because…you deserve it!!!
Cooking that fancy recipe you’ve been putting off because…there’s no time like the present to cook yourself a fancy ass meal!
Buying yourself a magazine! Because it makes you feel luxe (and because you’re helping the print industry, which is nice!)
Creating a playlist of your fave music to lift your spirits and/or remind you of a time that makes you feel really good!
Saying kind things to yourself, like, “You look really beautiful today” or “I really liked when you put down some boundaries on that person because they don’t deserve someone like you!”
Clean up your kitchen, rearrange your bedroom, clean your car….because ACTS OF SERVICES ARE LOVING!
It’s basically doing something that you might normally do to impress someone else, but this time, you’re doing it for you!
Your homework this week is to do at least two of the things mentioned above — or something else of your own choosing! But you have to do it! Just try it! See what it FEELS like to impress yourself a little. How does that make you feel?
I know that when I put on a nice outfit and buy myself flowers, I FEEL a certain way about myself…I feel good…I feel important…I feel special…I feel LOVED. And that’s the whole point!
I’m curious how last week’s exercise was like for you. If you want to read a real-time update on my experience, I included one on the chat!
I will admit last week was a humdinger! And I still struggle with body acceptance, but I think being conscious of that and slowly integrating new ways of thinking and being is the way forward! Even if I still hate putting on a bathing suit sometimes, I’m still reminding myself what I do love about my body! That’s all we can do! Keep showing up…for us.
I’ll be back with another exercise next week! Until then…
Thanks for being here!
Love, Brie
P.S. If you enjoyed this post, please click on the heart at the bottom or the top of this email. It helps others discover Love, Brie, and my podcast. And makes me super happy!
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