Killing bugs, mysterious rashes, and other dark things about living alone

At least I can open a jar of pickles by myself

I like living alone, but there are some things I don’t like about it. One thing — bugs. I don’t like bugs. Well, with the exception of ladybugs. Anyway, I don’t care for bugs. But when you live alone and a huge beetle comes into your bedroom late at night, you must care because you are the only one to deal with it.

Such was the case last night when a large beetle flew into my bedroom. I’m talking a “Silence of the Lambs” type of bug. The ones who will haunt your dreams, or at least the type that you don’t want flying above your head as you sleep. I was terrified; my cat, Olive, provided little assistance (she hid underneath the bed). If I was going to get rid of this beetle, it would have to be me.

So I got out my trusty handheld vacuum and after some screaming (which to my dismay did NOT alert my neighbours!) I managed to suck up the beetle and quickly threw out my vacuum onto the porch for the evening. I figured this was the best option — he could fly out or…wither away. Either way,…