this is a newsletter about love, which means sometimes loving yourself, and sometimes loving yourself means you have to quit things.
so this week i quit my job.
well, a job. I don’t consider my writing to be “a job” because it’s more like air to me, so i can’t really quit that without dying.
anyway. i quit my restaurant job. i was working at a restaurant. did i tell you? probably not. not because i think there’s anything wrong with working at a restaurant at 40 —and i don’t think you should either because, really, we need to get off our hierarchical high horses when it comes to contentment and fulfillment — but probably because i didn’t have the time.
working full-time as a writer during the day and working at a restaurant full-time at night was a lot. i don’t have the body that i did at 22 when i got my first waitressing job (actually, that’s not true..) but nevertheless, serving people on my feet for hours on end takes a toll, both mentally and physically and emotionally. i was sleeping in later, staying up later, everyday was blending into another…even holidays became just regular days since i worked every single one of them since Thanksgiving.
of course i was well compensated, not just with $$ (although that is always hit and miss) but with the free food. free pasta, salad, and pizza for eight months! in this economy?! how can someone say no?
i kid. i mean, not really. the free food and the money was good. but the people were better. i don’t mean the general public, because, sorry, you typically suck. i don’t know what happens to people once they step into a restaurant, but the majority of you act like entitled assholes. note to self: look your server in the eye, engage in their silly small talk (trust me, it’s awkward for us too but it does force both of us to have a human-to-human connection), and understand we are a human being doing the best we can to bring your food to your table, and not your personal servant.
so, yes, when i mean people, i am referring to the people i worked with. we were an exceptionally small team and we got along like a house on fire, and we all know how rare that is, to get along with people at work, people who you actually like, so i stayed longer than i wanted because of them. because for the first time in a long time i wasn’t working alone from home, interacting only with faceless editors over a computer screen. for the first time in a long time i had coworkers! who were not my cat! for the first time in a long time i had a place to go where i felt comfortable to be myself and laugh and converse and learn from other people. people who i liked and cared about (again, my staff, not the general public).
anyway. i quit the restaurant. so why would i quit the restaurant when i liked the people, made money, ate free food?
look, i’ve quit many jobs before.
i quit an editorial position at a magazine because i’m not an editor. i quit a communications job at a non-for-profit because i’m not an communication officer. i quit a grass-cutting job because i’m not a grass cutter. i quit writing about weddings because i’m not someone who should be writing about weddings. and i quit a number of waitressing jobs in my 20s, just like this one, because
i’m not a waitress.
i quit things because i know myself. i listen to myself. i know when it’s time to move on. i know when i’ve learned all that i need to learn.
because it’s not that i didn’t learn anything from these previous iterations of myself! i learned plenty! i’ve learned so, so much about people, communication, life, myself! there’s always, always something to learn no matter where we are and what we’re doing in life.
things, like jobs, aren’t meant to last foreverrrr, and i think that’s okay. i’m okay knowing certain jobs are merely temporary stops on my journey. i’m okay walking away from something that’s fun because if i stopped growing, then what’s the point?
i think life’s about experimenting, playing, and exploring. we try new things, have new adventures, and then we move on.
because i know there’s always something more for me to experience. that’s the reality i choose to believe in.
so i say…quit! quit more things! quit more things so you can learn more about you!
quitters get a bad rep, and i haven’t got the faintest clue why.
i love quitting things because i love starting new things. and i think we need to normalize the self-love and bravery it takes to quit things. because that means we’re choosing a new direction. it means we’re choosing ourselves.
from the start i knew my waitressing job wasn’t going to last forever, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worthwhile. that doesn’t mean i didn’t grow from it. or that i won’t write an essay or book that’s just dyyyying to come out because, trust me, it is.
did i hit and quit it?
maybe.
but i don’t mind being called a quitter. and neither should you.
Thanks for being here!
Love, Brie
Latest from the podcast!
Things i love right now!
this denim jumpsuit from Zara (my mom said she had one of these back in the ‘70s and i could kill her knowing the amount of clothes she’s thrown out!)
this bodysuit from Aritzia (how do you know you live in Vancouver if you don’t buy from Aritzia?)
this is the only song i like from Taylor’s new album, well, this one isn’t bad either
this glorious book about Paris and making dreams come true by Jane Bertch
playing tennis!
my dating coaching sessions with Stacy Perry
- ‘s substack, The Back Row